“Cristy, I’m going to tell you a morning ritual I do, which has changed my life”.

“Ummm, okaaay. Sure”. I replied.

I’m in Ubud, Bali and have an appointment to meet the general manager, who is about to take me on a tour throughout the hotel. As I was given a cold towel and refreshing fresh turmeric drink, I wasn’t quite expecting the direction that our conversation was going.

“Every morning, I look in the mirror and I tell myself I love you, I love you, I loveeee you”, he said with a large smile on his face.

“Really?”, I said wondering if he was joking.

“Yes, really”, he smiled. “Trust me, give it a try. For 30 days, do this exercise and I guarantee it will change you too.”

Even though it’s been many years since that unusual exchange, his words have always remained with me. I wasn’t ready at the time to actually do the ritual myself, but it did cause me to reflect on the power of words.

What we say has the potential to empower and inspire or create division and conflict. We only need to read the news to see proof of this. But what is often far harder to detect is the inner dialogue we have with ourselves.

What is the story you tell yourself? Do you lift yourself up or bring yourself down?
I know in my own life, I find it is so much easier to focus on my weaknesses rather than on my strengths. That’s because I don’t want to be seen as ‘narcissistic’ or ‘self-absorbed’. 

But what if we took a different approach to this view? Isn’t there actually more of you to give to the world when you give to yourself first? What if we saw it as our responsibility to be our best coach rather than our worse critic? What if we made a conscious choice to be kinder to ourselves? Or like the hotelier in Ubud, the permission to love ourselves?

The person you will spend the most time with is you and what you say on a daily basis will directly impact the quality of your life and wellbeing in the long run. When you give yourself the complement you seek, you won’t be basing your life choices on seeking the affirmation of others. When you learn to give yourself love, you will be able to form relationships from a place of abundance rather than need.

It took me awhile, to see the impact of that fateful morning in Ubud. To recognize the power that words can have.